my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
