Non-Jews are for practice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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