party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
