you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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