enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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