hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
