ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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