Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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