We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
