I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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