is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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