Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
