Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
