he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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