he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
