I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
