dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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