her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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