Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dick very happy bro
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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