I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
