I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
