Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
