the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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