So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
