i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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