Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
