And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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