she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
