Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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