who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
