So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
