Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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