I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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