Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
