I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
