sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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