Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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