So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
where am i from again
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
