So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize