Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
