Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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