She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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