Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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