Me too!
I think my fart just growled at me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
