There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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