omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
