I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
