I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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