We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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