My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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