I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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