We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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