We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
